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ELIZABETH SIMONE

Satire 

I'm Mary Hatch And It Is A Wonderful Life, Unless, Like Me You Are An Old Main Librarian
The Belladonna 12.23.22 (**This piece was one of The Belladonna's most liked pieces of 2022 on Instagram**)
The Dating Profile Of A Person Who Says Someone "Must Love Dogs" To Date Them
Slackjaw 11.29.22
At This Year's Fall Harvest Festival, We Have Replaced The Corn Maze With You Getting Lost In Your Phone
Points In Case 10.11.22
How To Tell If You're At A High Holidays Service Or If You're Just High
The Belladonna 9.23.22
Quiz: Your Cat Or Your Teenager?
The Weekly Humorist 8.2.22
Women In Maternity Photos: What They're Really Thinking!
The Belladonna 6.10.22
Voicemails From My Kombucha Mother (SCOBY) Who I've Neglected In The Back Of The Fridge
The Weekly Humorist 5.5.22
How It Feels To Wear A Condom, According To Bros Who Complain About Them
The Belladonna 4.14.22
Google Is Humbly Asking You To Donate $1.99 During Our "Save Your Drive" Drive
The Belladonna 3.10.22
Wordle By Mary Oliver 
Greener Pastures Magazine 2.16.22
(**This piece was Greener Pastures most-viewed comedy piece of the month**)
Play FRUGLE! The New Word Game That Will Never Go Up Behind A Paywall
The Weekly Humorist 2.8.22
Crossword Clues I Wrote For My Husband Who Really Loves The Crossword, A Lot, Like Maybe More Than He Loves Me
Slackjaw 1.28.22
Top Ten Sex Dreams I've Had About Paid Family Leave
The Belladonna 1.24.22
An Open Letter To Christians Who Appropriate Jewish Christmas
2 Ho Ho Ho's 12.23.21
9 Amazing Hanukkah Gifts That Are Not Socks
Greener Pastures Magazine 12.2.21
This Black Friday, Get Yourself An Abortion - Before It's Too Late!
Robot Butt 11.24.21
Classic Stories & Songs To Teach Kids That Dental And Vision Are Not Included
Slackjaw 7.26.21
The Game of LIFE: Sexism Edition™
Little Old Lady Comedy 6.11.21
Quiz: Cartoon Character or Financial Tech Startup?
Points In Case 6.10.21
How To Manage All The Money You Are Making On Medium
The Haven 4.30.21
Chauvin's Defense Lawyer Explains Famous Murders Throughout History
Greener Pastures Magazine 4.21.21
Quiz: Is This A Text From Nancy Pelosi Or A Line From A Stalker In A Movie?
Little Old Lady Comedy 4.2.21
 So You’re Having a Geriatric Pregnancy 
The Belladonna 3.19.21
(**This piece made The Belladonna's 21 Most Read Pieces of 2021! Check out the other 20 hilarious pieces on that list too!**)
If Doctors Talked To Tall People The Way They Talk To Fat People
Little Old Lady Comedy 2.23.21
Dear Valentine’s Day: Bring It On
Greener Pastures Magazine 2.12.21
Two-Year-Old Brooklyn Baby or Confederate Army Soldier?
Greener Pastures Magazine 1.20.21​
One-Star Yelp Reviews of Heaven
Points In Case 1.3.21
How To Write An Online Recipe In 14 Easy Paragraphs
Funny-Ish 12.21.20
10 Signs You Are in A Toxic Relationship With Nate Silver
Medium 11.3.20
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  • Home
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  • Sketch Comedy
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